Slowly
by Angelington
Summary: James Norrington finds himself slowly falling for someone unexpected in unexpected circumstances. If he could only take up the courage to show her how he feels... An Angelington fanfiction. I do not claim to own any of the characters. Please do review or message me your thoughts, as I like to know what people think of my work! :)
1. Chapter 1

After his unsuccessful engagement with Elizabeth, Commodore Norrington poured himself into his work even more and quickly was promoted to a new position of Admiral. His father had hardly anything to complain about—besides the lack of women in his son's life—and having a loyal, honourable men, a good position and his father not breathing down his neck 24/7 James should have been happy. But he was not.  
It was everything society expected of him—minus the girl—everything his father expected, but it was no longer what he expected.  
He hated how fake it all was, how he knew that he didn't really *know* any of his men. And they didn't know him because everyone wore a bloody mask. No one knew him, come to think of it...how the Admiral would work double what his men did and more, coming home tired and sore and with a migraine, but he couldn't sleep that night. Not even Weatherby knew—his closest friend.  
Why was it that getting married was so important, yet the fact that he hadn't gotten over someone was considered shameful by his father and certainly not common. James didn't know anyone else who was so fascinated with another.  
And so when Weatherby had an opening for a trip to Spain to get a better relationship with the Spanish, James snapped it up, eager to leave the place he was wasting away in.  
Things hardly changed though, he emptied himself nearly dry just *going* to Spain. And they hadn't even gotten there yet.  
And once they did, his officers were much too interested in the Spanish women who would otherwise be unavailable. James somehow had to knock some sense into them. They called him names for it—saying he needed to lighten up.  
"I'm simply not interested."  
And it wasn't because he had something against the Spanish, he just didn't like the idea of being with someone that you didn't care about. And he couldn't explain this to his men because they wouldn't understand—not now, not ever. They married because it was just what happened. They married, had an heir and that was it. The women were treated as things, as a possession you could use more as another person. Then they came to places like this to "have to fun" and it really, honestly, disgusted the Admiral.  
Nevertheless there was no stopping them…especially not when there were banquets and parties to attend.  
It was there that he met her.

David Hart, his Lieutenant, was probably the worst out of his men. Lovely blue eyes and fair hair with high cheekbones…he was the charming one ladies swooned over back at home, and it was no different here. He knew how to flirt, how to bewitch them. And he was very good at it too James had to admit. Part of him actually, secretly, was jealous of the attention Hart got from the women. He was too polite and soft spoken to be so bold and brash with the ladies. But it wasn't what he wanted in the long run so he pushed those thoughts away. Unfortunately Hart loved to drag him into things. Like tonight, at their first banquet after docking in Spain that afternoon. After engaging in a polite conversation with a Spanish Captain James had moved to the corner of the room. He disliked parties and these sorts of events. And would be happy when he could leave. David spotted him alone and grabbed his chance. "Come on Admiral, they're going to start a dance in a moment and I've got someone you should ask to join you."  
"I'd rather not." James insisted with a well-mannered half smile as he finished off his wine. "I was thinking about leaving actually…"  
"But we only just arrived!" David clapped his shoulder that made the Admiral grimace. "Come along! Have some fun."  
James was about to remind him that he wasn't the sort to just "have fun" but he noticed the look on his Lieutenant's face.  
"You're going to end up like your old man." David reminded a little sarcastically. And it irritated James enough to be compared with his father that he agreed just for the sake of peace.  
He followed his shorter, wiry officer through the crowd to a small group near the punch table. Two of his youngest officers were also there, happily chatting away with some Spanish women as they tried to understand each other through the language barrier. James glanced over them briefly while David tried to introduce. He said their names: Isabel, Mia… "and this is Angelica."  
James moved his gaze away from the two younger ones busy with his men to the last one. He hadn't even noticed her when approaching. She stood a little behind the others, looking out of place. She wore the typical Spanish dress with a long that came off her shoulders, but she let her hair hang loose-unlike the others who had flowers tucked in their braids. Her hazel eyes sceptically took in the British men who had invaded their town before she finally locked gazes with him. David must have said a few things because the next thing James heard was; "Oh! There's the music. Looks like their lining up."  
James snapped his eyes away and took in the couples. But he had never been good at dancing, and the Spanish danced far differently then they did back at home.  
"Were you going to join us, Admiral?"  
James noticed David now had a lovely lady hanging on his arm dotingly.  
"I'm afraid I was never very good." Again he forced that typical, polite smile and folded his hands behind his back.  
David didn't press any further, he and another two officers dragged off the women. But James noticed Miss Angelica didn't look quite as happy as the other two did…


	2. Chapter 2

James would have forgotten entirely about Miss Angelica—like all the other ladies David had introduced him to lately—had he not met her again the next day in a rather…surprising situation.  
He'd taken two other officers with him to visit the Spanish captain at his office the next morning and exchange naval procedures. The captain proudly showed them around the docks, introducing him to several more Spaniards and visiting the offices.  
"And this is Miss Teach!" he insisted in a proud, very thick accent, gesturing to the woman polishing a pistol. "You met her last night I believe, no?"  
"Yes….I did." James answered rather slowly, wondering if it was a common thing to have women working among the officers. It certainly wasn't allowed back in Port Royal, and as far as he knew Spain held the same rule.  
"Miss Teach, Admiral Norrington from England is here to—how do you say?—learn the ropes!"  
She glanced up, the same suspicion in her eyes as she regarded James and his officer.  
"You remember him?"  
"Yes." She got up and placed away the pistol, coming over to stand beside the captain. "You were the one who didn't want to dance."  
James was unsure if that was supposed to be amusing or not, luckily he didn't get a chance to comment because the eager Spanish captain had decided to get Angelica show him the maps.  
"Miss Teach, she is…very good with maps!" he led them both into a separate room assigned specifically for the subject.  
James took up the opportunity to enquire about her. "It is a common practice to hire women in the Spanish Navy?"  
Angelica shook her head, pulling out several large rolled up parchments and spreading them out. "Just me."  
James raised his brows some, silently questioning if that was such a good idea or not. "And why is that, if I may be so bold?"  
She didn't seem to like him prying, but she answered all the same. "Because, like Captain Anders said, I am good with maps."  
And she was, in fact she had charted quite a few islands that James didn't know about. He assigned his officer to take notes, knowing Weatherby would be very pleased. Though quietly, he wondered how she even knew about all this. It seemed like she had done more traveling then he himself had.  
When it came time to leave, James had to compliment her. "I have to agree with Captain Anders—you are very skilled."  
"Thank you." She did not smile, but accepted his comment, turning around to go back to work before he even left.  
"Ah, you agree no?" The Captain grinned, flashing his white teeth.  
"Indeed." James wished he would stop giving those half smiles—but it was practice now.  
"I think we learn somethings from you as well. Maybe we meet again tomorrow?"  
James hesitated, knowing his men would really prefer to rest...but Angelica spoke from the back of the room. "I think you should agree this time."  
They shook hands on it and James left, keen to do some charting himself.

Angelica didn't like the British naval officers around-she didn't trust them. Not just because she was branded and they'd drag her away, but because she was worried for her people. They were exchanging so much information to men they didn't even know! Men that were, a few weeks ago, their enemies. And half of the women in the town were swooning over them, too to top it off.  
Well, not her. She wouldn't fall for their flirting, the Spanish men were bad enough already. She only went to the banquets and parties because she was required.  
She went home after her days work, unlocking the door to the tiny house she rented and changing into something more comfortable. Her bedroom window had a view of the docks, and she watched the lanterns from the British ship get lit as the night closed in. The Admiral was in his cabin by the looks of it. He was a very odd man…so different from anyone else. Tall, broad…fascinating green eyes that seemed devoid of life. Yet she had no doubt that he could be unmerciful if he wished.  
"I wish they'd leave." She murmured to herself, closing the curtains.  
But no, she had to meet them again the next day.


	3. Chapter 3

James cast his gaze around his ship, spotting the figure he was looking for at the other side. The Spanish officers had eagerly come to look at his ship, which he proudly introduced as the fastest in the navy's fleet. They were still running around looking at things, pulling things and talking to his men in their thick, strange accents. All except for one.  
Miss Teach had moved to the other side of the ship, leaning over the railing with her face toward the breeze. James could guess why, almost as soon as she stepped on board David had pounced on her and the opportunity. She'd ignored him and James had left them to it, only now he was wondering if he should apologise for his officer's behaviour. He gave a glance over his shoulder to make sure all was under control before crossing the deck. She gave him a brief glance before looking ahead, obviously enjoying the salty wind blowing back her hair.  
James mustered up something to say, since she obviously wasn't going to engage him. "What do you think?"  
"Of your ship?" she glanced at him again, then past him when he nodded to the rigging and the helm. "It's nice."  
The Admiral couldn't help but raise a brow. The navy was very proud of their ship…but perhaps it wasn't up to her standard. "You've seen better."  
She didn't even hesitate. "I've seen faster."  
"Really." James was doubtful, he even scanned the harbour for the vessels flying the Spanish flag, but could see nothing that compared.  
She must have noticed because she added, "Not here."  
Again she hinted at the fact that she'd travelled places even he hadn't, and the Admiral wasn't sure what to make of that. "I actually came over to apologise." He insisted rather quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear.  
Angelica flashed him a look with those flames of hazel. "Why?"  
"For my Lieutenant." James answered dryly, nodding rather inconspicuous in the direction of David. She followed the direction with her eyes before looking down at the railing.  
"I am used to it."  
That only made James feel worse. "I've tried talking to him about it. I think it's really just how he is."  
"They're all like that." Angelica insisted rather flatly, there was no bitterness to her tone but James detected it all the same. He flinched some, realising the comment was probably also directed at him. He didn't reply, sensing he should leave her alone. But before he turned she said something again. "Except you."  
He turned his head, keeping the puzzled expression off his face. "Pardon?"  
"You didn't want to dance." She recapped again, turning around and cocking her head at him like she still was trying to figure that out.  
"I'm not any good." James insisted again, wondering what she was getting at.  
"You said that already. But I think there is more to it than that." But before James could ask what she meant, she brushed past him to join the rest of the Spanish as they exited the ship

James sat on a grassy hill overlooking the harbour and the prized ship waving a British flag, recapping his odd conversation with Miss Teach that morning. What had she said before leaving?

More to it than that.

Well, he was positive there was more to her then what he was seeing.

"There's more to everyone." He murmured to himself, glancing down at the empty book in his lap and the quill dripping ink on the pages. He was supposed to be keeping a log of their stay, but couldn't bring himself to write about boring things like that. To be honest this trip wasn't proving to be as promising as he'd hoped in the beginning…though he kept those thoughts to himself. His men were happy, running around trying the new things available—women and drink. He'd rather be…at home? No. He didn't really know what he wanted anymore. He had everything possible to be happy supposedly, but he wasn't. Far from it. He could feel himself sinking, grasping for anything to keep him afloat. His driftwood had been work but that was rapidly being sunk along with everything else.

The Admiral blinked several times, looking down and realising he'd been writing all that in the log book without thinking about it.

'A diary?' he thought dryly. Only ladies kept diaries. But he supposed with no one to talk to...to confide these secret thoughts in he might as well continue.

He wrote for the rest of the afternoon before shutting the book and heading back down the path. He hadn't gotten far though before he ran into Angelica. She was painting it looked like, from a nice viewpoint. Which of course was not wrong but David happened to be with her…being just as bothersome as ever.

James hesitated, wondering if he should go over or not. He got the impression she preferred to be left alone but wasn't David supposed to be at the ship supervising?

He strode over, catching David commenting on dresses or something like that before he quietly interrupted. "I thought I left you in charge of the ship."

"Oh, hello Admiral!" The Lieutenant seemed unfazed by James' unhappy tone. Angelica only glanced up briefly before turning back to her brushes and paints. "I can give you a perfectly good explanation—"

"Save it. Now go back to your duties."

David hesitated, like he was unsure if the admiral was serious. But a glowering look from James' green eyes sent him scampering away. Norrington turned to Angelica who had said nothing. "You know feel free to tell him to bloody leave."

She gave a tiny smile, her brush slowly adding white crests to the blue waves. "I did. He promptly invited me to dinner tonight."

James grimaced, rubbing a hand over his forehead. "I really need to do something about him."

Angelica lifted her head, hazel eyes scanning him curiously before quietly asking. "Did you want to come too?"

James started, staring down at her and wondering if she was joking. But the look on her face said she wasn't. "Couldn't you just say no?"

"I'm not going to turn down a free drink." She answered with an air of mischievousness, bending her head back down. "But I think it would go much better if there was someone else." When James took a while to reply she added, "Don't say you're not very good at going out for dinner."

The Admiral felt like spluttering but he didn't, only managed a wry smile. "I suppose I'll see you tonight." He started down the path again but she called after him.

"It's at seven tonight."

James just waved at her to signal he'd heard, wondering what he'd gotten himself into exactly.


	4. Chapter 4

Thankfully if there was one thing James knew how to do it was dress for dinner. He finished tying his cravat and left the ship with an eager David. The Lieutenant couldn't seem to make up his mind if he was happy to drag the Admiral out—or irritated that he'd intruded on his date.

The place was nice at least. Very typical Spanish, with music playing in the background and colourful decorations. They met Angelica there and she reluctantly placed her hand on David's arm as he led them both to a quiet table in the back. "You will have to tell us what to get." He insisted with a raised brow as they seated. "It's all in Spanish."

James pretended to somewhat read his as David cosied up to her—practically of course—while she helped him choose.

"Have you decided, Admiral Norrington?"

He jumped, looking up to catch her watching him expectantly.

"Yes…I'll just have what you are getting." That seemed safe, plus he didn't exactly want to admit he couldn't read Spanish at all and was just pretending to so he didn't have to watch David. Even now the Lieutenant was examining his reflection in his wine glass. James resisted the urge to frown at him.

David was the one who kept up the polite talk during the meal. In fact James wasn't even sure why he was here…Miss Angelica seemed to ignore him completely and it rather felt like Will and Elizabeth all over again. However he did enjoy his meal, and after the tea was drunk he placed down his serviette. "I think I shall head back now."

They both looked up. "You weren't going to join us for a stroll down the coast?" Angelica met his gaze for the first time that evening. James was rather shocked that she seemed to want him along. He'd been ignored so far, pretty much.

"I don't think so. I've got thing to tend to on the ship before turning in." he gave a polite smile. "Thank you for having me though."

She looked like she was going to say something else but David jutted in. "He's rather boring like that. Don't worry, I'll keep you company."

Angelica wasn't able to hide the flicker of doubt in her eyes at that remark, and she quietly finished her drink. James watched her, feeling a little guilty. For some odd reason she seemed to feel better with him around—probably to keep David in line. "On the other hand a suppose I could come."

She flashed him a grateful look and ignored David's sulk that lasted the entire time during their walk. In fact the tables seemed to turn a little as they walked along the coast. David was far more interested in gaining Angelica's attention then listening to her talk about Spain. James listened and not just to be polite. He liked seeing her ignore the Lieutenant's attempts when otherwise she'd have had to pay attention. So he asked questions to keep her going, and gradually David fell more and more behind.

"You can't read Spanish can you?" she asked finally, glancing up at him and pulling her shawl around herself more tightly.

James wondered how to respond. "No." he admitted with a half smile.

"So you pretended you could?" she seemed amused, not angry. Which surprised him because normally women would be dreadfully offended by such a thing.

He nodded, glancing down at the sand and folding his hands behind his back. "It's obvious?"

"Very." She answered seriously which got a tiny laugh out of him.

"Perhaps you could teach me some?" he lifted his green gaze almost shyly. "It would be a very good skill to take back to Port Royal with me."

Angelica glanced thoughtfully up at the starry sky, yawning above them. Her dark hair blew back freely from her face in the wind, she seemed to enjoy it. The freedom. "I suppose. If you are serious."

James looked over his shoulder quickly to see where David was. "Maybe you could offer to teach him and I'll come too."

She laughed this time. "Alright, Admiral Norrington. We have a deal." She offered her hand like a proper business woman and James tentatively shook it.

The week went by fairly quickly, every evening after the duties were done James and David followed Angelica back to the lovely hill overlooking the harbour for their Spanish lessons. She was a good teacher, but had to suppress a couple laughs when they got it horribly wrong. Actually, come to think of it…the lessons had become a bit of a competition between the two officers. It wasn't at first, David seemed to switch between wanting to impress and not being able to bother. Until he noticed how far ahead the Admiral was getting. James couldn't really help it. He'd been forced to learn Latin as a boy and so a new language was easier to understand then he'd expected. But he wasn't willing to let David beat him.

Angelica seemed to find it amusing, especially when she noticed them both trying phrases with the other Spanish officers. However she didn't comment on the subject. James found her still very curious, still getting used to the fact that there was a woman in the navy and how knowledgeable she was compared to the women of Port Royal. Yet she wasn't stuck up—far from it. She tended to keep on the quiet side, though James doubted it was because she was shy. She rarely spoke, didn't care for expensive clothing or perfumes. James found her…mildly refreshing. She still didn't trust him and made that clear to him. She tolerated him and David both and James knew it. He thought several times during the week about thanking her for it but kept quiet. The Admiral did wish, though, secretly, that he could ask more about her. But it was rude and odd of him, so he didn't and supressed the feeling.

He left his cabin Saturday evening to head up to the hill, going down below briefly to find David.

The Lieutenant was lying in his hammock looking very green, a bucket beside him. He raised his hand, as if knowing what the Admiral would say.

James shook his head. "You're on bed rest until you feel better."

"Come on, Admiral! I'll be right as rain in just—" he had to stop and lean over for the bucket. James grimaced, doubting he'd have to remind the officer again but getting his first mate to keep an eye on him just in case.

Without David, he doubted Angelica would want to teach…but he thought he should go check with her anyway. He trudged toward the hill but met her halfway.

"I was coming to tell you I won't be able to do the class today."

James briefly wondered if she'd heard about David…before he noticed her slightly wet cheeks and glassy hazel eyes. He hesitated, knowing it wasn't polite to intrude so instead of asking what was wrong he simply nodded and tipped his hat before heading back to the ship.

He thought nothing of her being upset until the next day when she didn't come into the office to do maps.


	5. Chapter 5

"Where's Miss Teach?" he inquired of Captain Anders.

"She said she was ill." He replied with a shrug, obviously brushing it off. James couldn't shake it no matter how hard he tried. Once he was able to leave he went to her small house, giving a knock.

No answer.

But since he himself was rather famous for ignoring the door when he was home he tried the handle. Unlocked. The Admiral stepped inside.

It was a neat and tidy house with very little in it. What was there caught his eye at once. A sword was propped in the corner beside her bed, and the desk and table and *everything* was covered in pieces of paper. Paintings, drawings and sketches. James admired them, briefly forgetting to check if she was there.

The parchments held pictures of ships, the sea, birds…anything and everything. A couple caught his eye in particular, but it was buried behind several other piles. He slowly pushed them aside, finding himself staring directly into the ink eyes of Jack Sparrow.

Then a voice behind him interrupted coldly and sharply. "What are you doing?"

James dropped his hand, turning to find Angelica gazing at him unhappily, arms folded. "I came to check on you."

She didn't believe him, he noticed at once. "You're trespassing in my home and going through my things."

James hesitated, because she was correct and he hadn't seen her so angry before. "I'm sorry."

"The door is over there." She jerked with her hand and turned away.

"Miss Teach, the man in this drawing…" he pulled it off the wall only to have it roughly snatched and finding her burning hazel eyes very close.

"I suggest you leave, Admiral." She insisted quietly.

But James wasn't about to. Sparrow had ruined his life and he wanted to know her connections. "What's your relationship with him? Do you know him?" This explained how she knew about ships…and maps and the world!

It was the wrong question to ask. Her fiery hazel eyes suddenly diminished, like someone had thrown a bucket of water over the flames. She didn't deny it, she couldn't, James watched as she lifted her chin bravely and turned around, crumpling the paper between her fingers. "What would an Admiral from England know."

" A lot more then you probably think." James murmured, she whirled on him thinking he was mocking her but noticed there was only honesty in his expression.

The Admiral watched as her gaze darted around, constantly landing on him. She couldn't decide if she wanted to trust him, if she dared…but she was on breaking point.

James felt a deep sorrow fill his chest. Not pity, but a sorrow for her. His deep voice softened to a tone hardly anyone ever heard from him. "Why don't you try me?"

Angelica clenched the crumpled drawing, meeting the Admiral's green gaze. Trust him…trust a British Admiral that she'd only known for a week at most? That would sooner ship her over to Port Royal to be hung and crossed off some list in his office?

It was foolish—yet there was that look on his face that she hadn't seen on anyone else. Like her words had…had...triggered something inside him. A memory. A feeling.

But she couldn't fall for it. No doubt he was a good actor just like she was a practiced actress.

'You fell for Jack.'

The paper slipped between her fingers and bounced onto the floor and everything went black.

She opened her eyes, blinking, trying to remember what had happened. It was very dark…she sat up, taking in the fact that she was in her room, lying in bed. Had she fainted? Impossible! She'd never fainted in her life.

Footsteps came from the second room before Admiral Norrington's tall figure entered, he was cradling two cups of tea, one of which he passed to her. "My mother told me once that a good cup of tea makes everything feel better." He sat down in a chair across from the bed.

Angelica stared down into the liquid, wondering what she should think of everything that had happened. It was rather humiliating to have fainted and be carried to her bed. How long had she been out? It must be very late…

"It's around midnight." James answered, placing his teacup aside for the moment. She shot him a curious look. "Everyone gets muddled after fainting." He explained briefly.

"You speak from experience?" she asked dryly, holding the cup but not drinking. She was unsure how much to trust him. If she had been out for several hours he could have done lots of things….

"No." James admitted with a tiny smile, but it didn't last that long. "I think I owe you another apology…"

"Don't!" Angelica interrupted, tightly closing her eyes. "Just don't"

James shut his mouth, wondering what exactly was the matter. She was so different….her drawings everywhere, being in the navy, owning a sword…seeing the world! And she obviously knew Jack. "Why not?"

"You shouldn't say things unless you mean them." She answered quietly, not looking at him.

"Are you calling me a liar?" James wasn't sure if he should be offended or not. But then, he wasn't sure of lots of things right now. When she didn't answer he hesitantly continued. "I take it you don't regularly faint?"

She shook her head.

"Then it was my fault. And I am sorry. I don't really know what came over me but…" he stopped a moment. "Your drawings are very beautiful. And Sparrow unfortunately has a bad reputation with me."

Angelica made a rather unladylike noise. "I wonder why?" she asked sarcastically, deciding to drink her tea after all, but timidly. However just the mention of the pirate made her head feel all weak again. It had been this way for months, the feeling of gradually slipping away. And after getting the news the other day she'd just gotten far worse. "I know…you're really curious." She murmured, looking up at him finally. "But I can't tell you." She saw at once how disappointed he was.

But he graciously nodded. "I understand." Angelica wondered if he really did. "After all we don't really know each other."

But it felt like they did. In a weird sense…yet they also obviously didn't. He got up, taking off his hat. "Goodnight."

Then he was gone.

Angelica couldn't sleep that night. She did not go into the office the next day either, she paced, staring at the torn and beaten drawing and feeling so conflicted. If she told him…what would he do? She had to tell someone, it was all too much. The unshed tears, the emotions locked away. It was eating her alive.

But a naval officer. A man who married because it was practical.

'He's different…'

But how much of him was just an act? A show?

Yet she couldn't get out of her head what he'd said the night before, his voice…she'd never heard anyone speak like that. "Why don't you try me."

She sat down, twisting her hands and trying to take deep breaths.

It wasn't possible that she was the one person in the world to love was it?


	6. Chapter 6

The two had more in common than anyone would have suspected. If only they could see it.

The opportunity arose when both had a very troublesome sleep four nights after James had been at Angelica's house. The undercover pirate often found comfort in the rhythmic sound of the waves and so she fled to the coast, on a secluded spot behind the cliff face.

The Admiral had gone for a walk to clear his head—a walk down the shore. Considering the hour he didn't expect to run into anyone, and when he spotted a shadowy figure huddled in the sand he reached instinctively for his pistol before he noticed. "Miss Teach?"

She looked up, her dark hair blowing around her saddened face. "Admiral." She acknowledged him briefly, turning back to the silhouette of the dark sky and waves.

James knew it was impossible to just continue on his walk and ignore her. So he settled down a little bit away, glancing over at her small, lonely figure. She looked much smaller than the confident map woman he'd met earlier that week. But she hadn't been to the office in four days now. However the Admiral didn't ask her anything, he just sat there, giving her company. If she decided to talk that was fine. But he didn't expect her to because they didn't really know each other.

She chose to speak.

"Do you know the feeling of drowning?"

It was an odd question, but James automatically felt a flash of a memory. Water everywhere, in his mouth, over his head…dark water, he couldn't see anything. He shuddered. "All too well."

"I feel like I'm drowning." Angelica whispered, hugging her shawl tighter around herself, playing with an amethyst ring around her finger. "But I can't tell anyone."

James snapped his gaze to her, feeling something tugging at him. A memory? An emotion? He couldn't place it. "Why not?"

"Because," she murmured simply, moving her hazel eyes to him, "They wouldn't understand."

They searched the other's eyes without knowing it, looking for something. Understanding? Common ground? Neither said anything for a long moment.

James finally spoke, his deep voice quiet. "Understand…what?"

And in that moment, Angelica made a decision. A choice that she couldn't have realised how important it was. She chose to trust him, to tell him. "That I love someone." Her voice broke at the end of the sentence, like she couldn't admit it.

James gazed at the Spanish woman, tears pooling in her eyes as she turned her face longingly back to the waves. A lady waiting for the man she loved to return. He had seen the look on a woman's face before…the woman he loved, but the expression was not toward him.

'Elizabeth'

He had tried so hard to forget lately. But even tonight she taunted him in his dreams. Why was it so difficult?!

He did not need to ask if Angelica had experienced the pain of being rejected, it was obvious. He swallowed the lump in his throat, digging around in his pocket for reassurance. His long fingers found the coolness of a ring—a ring he'd never used. "I don't think…this is what you want to hear. But it never really goes away."

Angelica tightly closed her eyes, her long lashes wet with tears. "It's going to kill me."

"It won't." James insisted firmly, "Trust me I know. It drains the life out of you but keeps you alive as if you taunt you. Like a bloody game." He picked up a shell and tossed it into the lapping waves. Then, for the first time, it clicked. She was in love with Jack Sparrow. He whirled toward her. "You love Sparrow?!"

She jumped, his tone harsher now, and her hazel eyes blazed to life. "Yes, I love him! I know he's a pirate, a criminal, a thief…I know better than anyone how dishonest he is. But I love him. Because I can't help it."

James wasn't sure what to think. Sparrow was everything she'd admitted and worse. Sparrow had ruined him almost—the least he'd done was turn Elizabeth against him and toward Will. But something pricked him in the chest. And that was that a woman had truly fallen in love with a man who would have used her over and over again without a thought. That alone made the Admiral soften. "I understand."

Angelica didn't look convinced, but the fire in her eyes died to glowing embers instead.

"It's not that he's just a pirate, you see. He's…mixed up with this young woman…" James swallowed again, wondering just how much of his life he was going to blurt out to her. He stopped there.

"He's good at that." Angelica murmured understandingly.

So much so that James flinched. "Strange, is it not? Us two….being the only ones."

She nodded quietly, and no more words were exchanged until the sun started to rise and they parted ways.


	7. Chapter 7

James was surprised that Angelica turned up to the office that day. They exchanged polite smiles and went about their work. As much as he could, James made sure David was out of her way. He hoped that their exchange had at least made her feel a bit better—enough to toil with a bunch of men.

He offered to buy her lunch during the break, and they both went to a more secluded part of the docks. They ate in silence for a while. Angelica was obviously enjoying the see and James was simply happy she felt a bit better.

"I have a proposition for you." She murmured finally, turning to him. The look in her hazel eyes said it wasn't a business one.

James eyed her up, unsure if he wanted to know what it was. "Go on."

"I was wondering if…you could escort me to the dance tomorrow."

James looked away, feeling her eyes burning into him. What kind of offer was this? Was she trying to flirt?

"I didn't want to go with David. So I told him I'd already been asked."

"And if I don't come you'll be a liar and look bad?" James cocked a brow and looked back at her, taking a bite from his sandwich.

"Precisely. And you'll make yourself look bad too for not coming." Angelica flashed him a rather sardonic smile.

The Admiral rolled his eyes. "I'll be in enough trouble just for going with you." He reminded dryly, wiping his fingers on his napkin and pondering the idea. He had never actually taken a lady to a dance before. Never. And considering where he came from that was rather astounding.

"So?" Angelica probed, kicking off her shoes and dangling her feet in the water.

"So what?"

"Are you going to ask me or not?"

James gazed at her for a long moment, finding it very difficult to answer. She was a citizen here, beautiful and spirited. He was from England, a dull and boring naval officer. They'd be a very odd match. "Why don't you ask Anders?"

"Because I wanted to ask you." She answered simply, her eyes searching his face, trying to mask the desperate look but not quite covering it.

And that hit James straight in the chest as he suddenly realised why.

She trusted him—to a certain extent. She trusted he wouldn't do anything she didn't want him to. Anything inappropriate. She wasn't asking him because she had some…thing for him.

"Would you like to go to the dance with me?" he asked finally.

She just flashed him a smile.

And James tried to recall if she'd ever smiled like that before…and couldn't remember.

James couldn't remember being so…concerned with his appearance before. He had washed and shaved and dressed in his best clothes. Unfortunately he hadn't brought along his ceremonial uniform, but he had one that was almost as decent. He fastened on the gold tipped, decorative sword and straightened his cravat, gazing at himself in the mirror. "You're just going to keep her safe. Like a body guard." He reminded himself, brushing an invisible speck off his coat. Maybe he wouldn't even have to dance. Maybe she'd want to leave early.

He pulled out his pocket watch the check the time before leaving the ship, and a grumpy David behind. He hadn't been able to find anyone else to take, so he was staying back to watch over the vessel. James held back a smug grin at the thought.

He didn't even have to knock, Angelica was ready.

"You look lovely." He commented, wondering if that was appropriate. The billowing Spanish gown was definitely eye catching. He offered his arm.

"So do you." But she didn't look up at him as she said it, she simply slipped her hand onto his arm and they followed the crowd already heading to the Great Hall.

It was decorated with colourful banners and papers, lively music filled the room and the scent from the food was strong. It was so different from the dances James was used to, even the style of dancing was foreign. Considering he was supposed to be looking after Angelica, he felt very unqualified. "How does this work exactly?" he whispered to her, weaving through the crowd gathered at the door.

"Well, you can go and talk over there," Angelica nodded to the group of men smoking cigars and pigging out on food. "Or dance."

"How about neither?"

She gave a tiny laugh, but cut it off noticing he was serious. "I can teach you the moves." She offered kindly.

James cast his gaze up to the dance floor uncertainly but Angelica had seemed to make up her mind.

"Come on." She grabbed his sleeve and tugged him near the middle, stopping. "Just follow me."

James tried, but it was very quick. He finally thought he had the hang of it but then Angelica was switched to another woman who expected him to lead. And he had no idea how.

But they made it through their first dance and he happily followed her to the refreshment table for a drink afterwards.

"Fun?" she questioned, taking a punch.

James thought about it for a moment before nodding. "I think so, yes."


	8. Chapter 8

James slowly opened his eyes, feeling like there were cannons exploding in his head. Why was it so dark, wasn't it morning? He tried to sit up and found that he was strapped down to a cot—a cot! He wasn't in his cabin, where was he?! Panic started to set in. Had he been kidnapped for ransom? Where were his men?!

He jerked and tugged, thrashing around at the strapping and feverish sweat started to bead on his forehead.

Then the door opened and light spread across the room in a candle's soft glow. "It's alright, Admiral."

It was Angelica. She came into the room and settled down on the floor, the candle beside her. It allowed just enough light for James to make out her features.

"What's happened?" he rasped, finding himself very thirsty all of a sudden. "Where am I?"

Angelica gazed at him sympathetically, her dark hair falling over her shoulders in soft waves. "You're at the surgeon's house." She murmured quietly.

"Surgeon?" James blinked and looked away. He couldn't process it. Why was he here?! He snapped his eyes back to her fiercely, demanding a response. "What happened?"

It was a tone that he used with his men when they disobeyed, but Angelica was not intimidated. "I cannot tell you."

James felt his chest tighten at being denied and he made to sit up but the strapping held him down which only stressed him more. "Tell me what happened!"

Angelica watched, painfully, as he fought with the straps, breathing in short, shallow gasps as fear and panic settled in. She was under orders to tell him nothing for the sake of his health. But she could bare it no longer. She grabbed his sleeve, at once catching his attention back to her, his green eyes wildly darting back and forth across her face.

"James." She whispered, at once feeling her heart heavy with the information she had to give. But she couldn't withhold it. "There was a hurricane after you fell asleep. Your ship got torn from the port." She bit her lip and stopped. He had gone deathly silent, simply staring at her, hardly breathing. "My men." He whispered hoarsely. "What happened to my men…"

Angelica let go of his sleeve and looked away, feeling something choke her throat. But his hand came out and grabbed her face, turning her back. She flinched, as if expecting a strike. But all she saw in his eyes was a fear for the lives of officers he was responsible for. "Angelica. Please."

She swallowed hard. "Captain Anders was coming back from the party when he noticed the ship about to snap from the port. He managed to save a few men but the rest—"

James dropped his hand, a quiver running through his broad shoulders. Angelica knew he would blame himself, even though he couldn't have known.

"You nearly drowned yourself. There was a lot of water in your lungs I didn't think you'd survive." She quietly wiped the moisture from the corner of her eyes, casting him another glance. The doctor had said there would be permanent damage to his lungs because of it. And she felt responsible. If she hadn't let him go home so early after the part. If they had stayed longer…

James lay half propped up, staring blankly down at the flame of the candle, unseeing.

Quietly, Angelica reached forward and unstrapped the bonds that held him securely to the cot. The Admiral didn't even acknowledge her doing so and the two sat in silence, the only sound was James' uneven breathing. Angelica longed to say something, but she knew there were no words of comfort to be offered. The Admiral would mourn his men, most likely for the rest of his life.

"I'm sorry." She breathed after a very long time. "I wish…"

"It's not your fault." James interrupted, snapping his green eyes to her again. The candlelight reflected in their depths, like a forest on fire. But there was a roughness to his voice that Angelica was wary of. "You should go."

"The storm is still bad. We're directed to stay indoors." Angelica gave him a pointed look though her tone was gentle enough.

James snorted, sitting up. His shirt clung to his sweaty chest, showing how it rose and feel unevenly. "Since when did you follow the rules?" he shot her an accusing glance which was returned with a burning hazel stare. It didn't unnerve James in the least. "You're Jack Sparrow's little girl, learned everything from him, why would you follow anything anyone says?" He couldn't disguise the bitterness in his thick voice and Angelica tried to pretend it didn't sting. She thought of him as… a friend. Though she knew the snapping was only raw pain from his loss. First a woman, now his men.

"Because I care about you." She insisted abruptly, causing him to start. "I understand what it's like to lose someone, the pain of losing everyone important to you. But you were there for me when I almost drowned under it all and I'm here for you now. You are a good admiral, James. Your men thought so too. And so do I."

The two gazed at each other for a long time.

James said nothing after that, only lay back down on his side to watch the candle flicker and little to the dull patter of rain on the room. Angelica was unsure what he was thinking…she wished she knew.


	9. Chapter 9

**To the lovely people posting reviews, I am unable to answer your questions even though I would absolutely love to. If you create accounts I would be able to message you but if you post as a guest I cannot contact you. Thank you so much for your support and to the person who asked how often this will update, I try to post every two days around about.**

Angelica tried her best to get him to take his mind of what had happened. But the Admiral that seemed to be…opening up just sunk further into himself. The hurricane was bad, and confined them into the surgeon's for days. The few of his men that survived ended up coming to visit him and cheer him up. They huddled around on the floor with candles telling stories and sharing bad jokes. James never spoke—not even bloody annoying David could get a word from him. Sometimes Angelica wondered if he was listening. His green eyes were glassy and dull, staring at unseen objects. She wondered if the officers being here only reminded him of how many he had lost.  
She sat in the corner of the room and watched and listened, sometimes drawing and pretending she was minding her own business. But really she was observing carefully and reporting to the surgeon on the Admiral's condition.  
"His lungs will always be bad. But this is a head problem. And I can't fix those."  
"Isn't there anything that will help?"  
The young man had only shaken his head.

On the third night, after the officers had shared stories once more before the surgeon banished them to their own quarters, James finally said something. He was standing by the window, sort of favouring his left side. He clutched the sill with white fingers, staring out at the rain and hail pouring down. "What do you want most?"  
Angelica nearly jumped for hearing his voice again. It was raw, and thick and pained. She wondered if he was talking to himself but then his eyes turned to her. She gave him a long stare, unsure of how to reply. What did she want most…above anything? She knew the answer deep down but could not voice it. So she came up with something else. "Safety."  
He threw her a puzzled glance, unknowing of the fact that she was a pirate and could not even trust him with that fact. "You're lying."  
"Not quite." Her tone was half teasing, though she was serious. "What about you?"  
The Admiral shook his head and turned his gaze back to the window, closing his eyes against the cold glass. "I grew up knowing what I wanted. What I wanted to believe in…wanted to become."  
"That's good?" Angelica asked quietly but didn't expect such a harsh reply.  
"No!" he snapped, spinning around, green eyes ablaze. "I never got a choice! It's like being given a menu for your life but there's only one dish, one dessert, one type of wine…." He trailed off, the fire in his eyes dying. "I thought coming here would further me along the path laid out in front of me. But now all the footprints are gone." He was quiet for a long moment. "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be Sparrow…free."  
"Unless the navy caught you. Unless you were shot for what you believed in, hung because of your friends." Angelica answered almost without thinking. "James, listen to me. You don't have to follow one path. Who cares if it was bloody laid out for you? You can choose what you want." She had come over and he watched her, gazing at her with some sort of expression Angelica couldn't quite catch. Longing?  
"That's all nice for you to say, but you didn't murder the lives of men you were responsible for. I have to go back to Port Royal and own up for my mistakes." He slowly reached a hand and brushed his finger against her hair, a warm, soft glow in his eyes. Angelica wondered if his medicine had too much port.  
"You have no idea what I've done." Angelica whispered, knowing she had to tell him. Right now. "I wasn't just in love with Jack." She hesitated. "I grew up without a family, without knowing what place I had in the world. I was stuck in a sanctuary my whole childhood. Then I became a young woman. I had reached my full potential and was ready to become a sister myself, to take my vows. Then…Jack came. He was lost, and he told me about his ship, his crew…the world. He helped me escape." She spilled the story, watching as the soft look faded from his green eyes and started to be replaced with a horrified and disgusted expression. It left her with a deep wound, as he slowly pulled away, reacting just as she knew it would.  
"Look." She pulled down her sleeve, showing him the ugly branded scar on her wrist. "I'm not who you think I am."  
"You're a pirate." He spat, but Angelica had no idea how conflicted he was feeling. "You lied to me."  
"You would have arrested me on the spot if I hadn't. I did what I had to, to be free." Angelica lifted her chin, trying not to let her gaze wobble. "But you know what I want most? To belong…to be cared for. Regardless of who I am or what I've done. And I think…that's what you want too."  
The Admiral just stared at her, his chest heaving again, breathing shaky and uneven. Angelica had hoped, slightly, that he wouldn't have done this. That he would have accepted her. Perhaps if the accident hadn't happened he might of. But it was too late now. She'd told him.  
"How can I trust anything you've said to me when you lied about who you are?" his voice was tight. "I want you to leave. Now."  
Angelica lingered a moment, hoping he'd change his mind. But he only turned back to his window, and she quietly stepped out. The whole world felt like it was going to crash down and suffocate her.


	10. Chapter 10

James couldn't sleep…not properly. He would drift off only to feel like he couldn't breathe, like he was suffocating underwater, and then would jolt awake. Drowning…he felt like he was drowning. Eventually he gave up and lay on his cot, sweaty and exhausted, wishing for peace. Just once in his life he would like to have peace. But it was impossible, especially in a place like this. The doctor was constantly in and out, trying to encourage him to get up and out of his room. He didn't want to leave. The one time he did go to lunch he had to sit with all his men, laughing and carrying on without a care in the world. David had been there of course—sitting next to Angelica.

Something inside him twisted at the memory. That she betrayed him…yet her betrayal was so much worse than anyone else's could be. He had started to trust her, to tell her things no one else knew. To expose himself. And she had been there for him—especially these past few days. She didn't know it, but he had surveyed her. He had watched and perceived as she observed him and looked after him. He noticed that she cared. The one person in the entire world that he thought genuinely cared for him as a person. As who he was. And…and he had started to grow…fond of her.

But then she had to tell him that she'd hidden things from him. That she belonged behind bars instead of serving her country. That she was a pirate—the one thing he detested. He thought he had known her. Just like he thought he knew Elizabeth.

He had watched her and David at lunch, noticing how David flirted and played. He wondered what his Lieutenant would think if he knew the truth. In fact the Admiral had pondered the very idea of exposing her for who she is. But no. He decided it would be better to wait. To wait for her to tell David herself, and have him feel the same horrid burnt feeling. Like he was melting. Like everything he knew was blowing away into the wind. Did he love her? No. But he had most certainly felt some sort of affection toward her. Which was now long gone…drifted out to sea somewhere with the tide.

There was a quiet rap on the door which interrupted his thoughts. James ignored it for a moment but when it came again he begrudging told them to come in.

It was David. He sauntered in like he owned the place, flopping down next to him and leaving the door open so light flooded in.

"Came to give you some cheering." His lieutenant grinned. "You missed supper."

"They're still down there?" James asked disapprovingly, "At this hour?"

"We're allowed to make merry, are we not?" David shrugged.

James didn't reply. Hoping to discourage him. It did not work.

"Angelica seems a bit worried. You weren't too cross with her earlier were you?"

"I don't need looking after." James snapped more harshly then was intended. "If she wants to coddle someone she can bloody go do it to someone else."

That shut David up for a moment. He picked at his coat, casting a tentative glance at his Admiral who stared across at the wall instead. "Yes well…how about you get some sleep, alright?" he gave him a brisk pat on the shoulder and got up. "Good night, Admiral." He closed the door behind him, his shoulders dropping some. For once the cocky officer looked worried.

"Is he alright?" a quiet voice asked from behind him.

David shook his head, still staring at the door. "No…he's not." He sighed and turned, meeting Angelica's anxious hazel gaze. "Sorry. I did try."

"I know. Thank you." She offered him a ghost of a smile before turning away.

"Perhaps we could stay up for one more drink?" David offered, going after her small figure.

"Not tonight. Sorry Mr. Hart." She didn't even look at him, she opened the door to her room and closed it.

"Blast it." David sighed. "I did try though..." he continued down the hall, and his voice echoed back to James' room where the Admiral lay wide awake. "I did try…"

James wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. Angelica was wide away in her private room the surgeon had offered her, staring at the candle flickering beside her.

What was this…horrid feeling of pain inside her?

The responsibility felt for worsening James' condition. He had actually started to look slightly better, now he was vastly becoming worse. The doctor was afraid to speak to him about his lungs for fear of the reaction.

Every time she closed her eyes she saw the warm, inviting look from his eyes vanish into a harsh, closed off expression.

Why had she told him? Why had she risked everything…The one person who understood her—

'But how can he truly understand if he doesn't know you?'

She had trusted him to be accepting of her. But now she thought of it she barely knew him…how foolish she was. Just as foolish as the young woman who had run off with a pirate captain in the first place.


	11. Chapter 11

James stood just a step from the porch, his gold trimmed hat shadowing his eyes as he gazed apprehensively up at the door. He could hear the bustle of the street behind him, coachmen probably wondering why this naval officer didn't hurry up and knock if that's what he wanted to do. Truthfully, everything from the past two weeks was flooding through his head.

As the hurricane passed and the town got to work cleaning and mending things, the British Admiral knew it was time to do the same. Not just in the remainder of his men and his ship, but in his personal life.

Angelica was around often enough. But every time she walked into the room he turned away. At first it was his bitterness, and more recently in shame. He could only imagine how he disgusted her now. Starting with trying to make her miserable and then pretending she wasn't even there. He observed though…he watched as she seemed to move on. She hung around David quite often now—or he hung around her. He even escorted her to the dance last night. James had stood silently at the refreshment table as they danced and talked, invisible to the couple. If she noticed he was there she was good at pretending he wasn't. Her hazel eyes never drifted his way, though they weren't exactly fixed on David's face either—something that made James secretly happy. He wouldn't admit that he was jealous. Not yet anyway. A woman that had really only been friendly to him now taking up David's flirtations.

And he tried to tell himself that he wasn't here because of David. But the Admiral was no longer an expert at kidding himself.

He wanted to win her back—when he certainly didn't have the right to claim her-to apologise and make things the way they were. They should be.

But he stood by the porch with doubt, uncertain if she would accept his proposition. He didn't deserve it… Taking a deep breath, James stepped up and placed a knock on the door. A strangely familiar feeling fluttering in his chest.

'This is not like that.'

But why did he * **feel** * like it was?

The door opened, and for the first time in many days James was face to face with her again. He watched as the openness on her face vanished to a closed off, polite manner. And everything he had wanted to say vanished from his head.

Then a bit awkwardly they both spoke at the same time. James shut his mouth tightly, feeling the immense urge to go run down the porch and vanish into the street. This wasn't like him at all.

'Actually it is. At every social gathering.' His head kindly reminded him.

"Would…you like to come inside?" Angelica offered again. He couldn't read her tone or expression. But he nodded his thanks and stepped inside, nearly tripping as he removed his hat and waiting for her to close the door. He desperately grasped for words, though the ones floating around were no good. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well." She moved around the kitchen, putting on the kettle and bringing out the tea cups. James gaze strayed from her to around the small house, noticing it seemed quite…empty. "Anders said you weren't coming back to the office. Have you been…" he trailed off. On the floor by the front door, he spotted the item he'd tripped over. A medium sized trunk. His gaze snapped back up to her, cursing himself as his gaze fell on her attire. It was hardly the wonderful Spanish dresses he had seen her wear lately. And the answer to his unfinished question came forward. "You're leaving?" It was meant to be a statement. Acknowledging that he shouldn't be here…that he should go. But it came out as a question, confused and almost…vexed.

She turned away, grasping a long coat off of a nearby chair and folding it up. "Yes."

"Why?" James' tone was tight, he was unable to help it. He tossed his hat onto the table. "And why didn't you tell me?"

"Why do you think?!" she snapped, her hazel eyes glistening all of a sudden with regret. She tossed the bundled coat over to the trunk where it landed on the floor beside a pair of tall boots. "I haven't told anyone else, why should I tell you?"

James was silent, his green gaze penetrating through her. "Does anyone else…know what I know?"

The quiet was deafening, but the look she shot him said more than enough. "Why did you come?"

James knew there was no holding back…this was probably his last chance ever. "I wanted to…to apologise." The words didn't come out as firmly as he had planned. Nothing was going as planned. "For sulking. For…being acrimonious and hostile toward you. God knows why you chose to befriend me. But you did...and I never appreciated it as I should have. Even though you knew how I wold react once you told me, you still said it all. And right now…I just want to combust because I didn't say this sooner. And it's too late like I feared. You're leaving because of me. Just like everything else I cared about leaves eventually. I think…I'm jinxed or something." He didn't even try to laugh and his gaze dropped to the trunk in the corner. "I…I tried to get up the courage to ask you to the dance tonight. I was worried my only problem would be David but now I see.." he stopped. His hands were shaking as he took back his hat, turning it over and over, unable to meet her revolted gaze. But when she answered, it wasn't in the appalled way he expected.

"James…you should have asked."

He glanced up and found her gripped the chair with white fingers, her small figure even trembling. And he wanted to go over and embrace her and comfort her…to do the impossible. But he firmly planted himself. "I've never been more sorry in my life." He murmured quietly.

She closed her eyes, and the Admiral wondered if she was fighting tears. But when she opened them there was no sign of moisture and she bravely lifted her chin and moved to get her trunk. He watched as she tugged on the boots and coat, grabbing the trunk that seemed too big for her lithe figure. She put one hand on the door, but didn't open it. Her head turned once more toward him, a deep sense of remorse in her eyes.

Then with a bang the trunk fell to the floor and she closed the space between them, her small figure pressing against James tightly. For the first time he felt a woman's softness, her arms around his neck and her face in his shoulder. Her soft, fresh scent swirling around him. Instinctively he embraced her, holding her against himself so she couldn't get away from him, as if hoping his arms would stop her from leaving. He could feel the slightest of movement from her, and when she made the move to step back h clutched tighter, his nose pressing into her hair. "Stay with me…." He had never begged this hard in his life. "We'll mend things…I promise." He didn't tell her that he'd just accepted a one month extension in Spain.

"You know I can't stay in one place for very long." She softly rubbed her cheek on him. "We're too different."

Everything inside James screamed to tell her no. That it would work. He would make it work. But he backed away a fraction instead. "I'm not going to see you again, am I?"

A sad smile briefly flitted across her lips, and she softly touched her fingers to his face without a word. James felt a burn behind his eyes as he pressed his cheek into her fingers, memorising every detail about her while he could before closing his eyes. He expected her to disappear, but instead she placed his hat back on his head with gentle hands. "I know where to find you."

And as James hurriedly looked up, he caught the last of her petite figure, long hair billowing behind her, ducking into an alley in the side of the road.


	12. Chapter 12

James no longer looked forward to the prospect of staying in Spain for another month. He hadn't expected his talk with Miss Teach to do so well, but certainly not this bad. He told himself that she must have forgiven him, but that she was better off moving on to sea. It was who she was. It was him who found it hard to move on—and David.  
His Lieutenant was very unhappy that his new girl had hightailed and left without even telling him goodbye. It put him in a rather downcast mood. He was sulking so much, the Admiral almost blurted out the truth; that she was a pirate. But James could never do that, and knew it wouldn't really help anyway. Angelica's secret was safe with him. The only way of helping Mr. Hart get over it was keeping him busy. He'd find someone else soon enough. In fact James almost wished he was as uncommitted as David himself. It certainly would make things easier with getting over….things.  
Elizabeth hadn't been on his mind near as much lately. He'd been more distracted. The feisty pirate had occupied his thoughts instead. And still did in a very conflicting way. He shouldn't have to remind himself they were too different. She was just a friend—and that was on a good day. It really was for the best that she'd gone, hopefully within a short period of time he could shake himself.  
'You're pathetically desperate.' He grimaced at the thought, tugging his hat over his green eyes even more firmly. He tried to amuse himself by conjuring up what his father might do if he found out his son was interested in a female pirate. But that wasn't near as entertaining as he had hoped. Perhaps it was too true?  
He really needed to stop. She was a pirate for God's sake! As opposite from him as was physically possible! He sentenced her kind to prison, to death regularly. He detested them just like his father. And she was a friend of Sparrow to top it all off.  
'Sparrow…'  
He wondered if she'd gone back to find the bloody pirate captain. For her own sake he hoped not.  
'Or, you're jealous at the idea…?' his head queried rather unhelpfully.  
Deciding he needed to clear his mind, the Admiral left his new first mate in charge overseeing the repairs to the ship, and went for a walk down the shore.

The sky was grey today, storm clouds threatening on the horizon. The wind had picked up considerably since that morning. James removed his stuffy hat and wig, letting the rough breeze ruffle the ribbon tied tightly in his hair. He listened to the waves crashing to shore and rolling back and a distant song came to mind from what seemed like an age ago. His violin sat in the wardrobe back in Port Royal, the case covered with dust. Buried with it was a wrapped box tied with lace ribbon.  
He'd bought the box as a wedding gift for someone he had expected to spend the rest of his life with. To have a family…everything that was expected of someone like him. He remembered creating the song too, a beautiful song—he'd been very proud of it.  
But it was never played for the person it was created for.  
James remembered very clearly the last time he'd picked up his violin, with shaking hands and pent up anger in his chest. The notes had come, but they were far from the cheerful, hopeful tunes he'd meant them to be. They were sorrowful and full of resentment...  
After that he'd stopped playing. He wasn't sure why all of a sudden he thought of the song now, of his violin…Perhaps it reminded him of Angelica in a bittersweet way. She would have liked his violin, come to think of it….

The melancholy thoughts were interrupted when the rock face behind him crumbled in some part and the jagged pieces hit the sand. James snapped his gaze upward, noticing a figure dangling from the top.  
Quickly he dashed the other way, knowing there was a path that lead to the top. Once he got there, the speedy climb seemed far from worth it. He looked down at the figure gripping a very wiry branch with one hand—the other frantically clutching a hat- to save himself from a nasty fall, and nearly spat.  
"Jack Sparrow."  
The pirate captain gave a rather uncertain smile. "Hello, Norrie. Come to give me a hand, have you? I knew you couldn't stay cross at me for long. After all—"  
He was cut off as his scrabbling feet set more rock sliding and the branch gave a jerk.  
"Save the flattery for later, Sparrow." James glanced around, looking for how he'd gotten himself into this mess to begin with. Finding nothing he reluctantly got down on his knees. "On the count of three." He stretched out his hand, "One…two…" he braced himself. "Three."  
Jack let go of the branch and snagged the Admiral's arm with all his might—nearly dragging James down the cliff with him.  
Luckily James had prepared himself and quickly scooted back, dragging the pirate Captain along on the grass.  
"Thanks mate." Jack dusted himself off, plopping down and taking off his boots to empty the sand. James watched as a lonely crab quickly scuttled away, looking very relieved.  
"Might as I ask what in the devil you're doing here?"  
"Looking for a dear…dearest friend of mine." Jack tugged his boots back on and jumped up, putting his hat firmly on his head.  
"Who, Captain Barbossa? Ran off with your ship again did he?" James almost wished he'd let the captain fall to his death. Though knowing Jack he probably had nine lives like a cat. Plus… 'Angelica's made you soft.'  
Jack made an expression that looked to James like he was playing innocent. "Actually… no. This said person happens to look nothing like Hector. No scraggly beard or funny hat. Definitely not that bad of a smell. And….she happens to be a woman. Perhaps you've seen her! Dark hair, pretty short if you ask me. Can be very vicious…"  
"You mean Angelica?" James interrupted, feeling very suspicious as to what the captain wanted with their mutual…friend of sorts. He was suddenly feeling very protective of her.  
Jack brightened up at one. "Yes! That's the one!" then his excited face fell. "Oh dear. She didn't catch you too, did she?"  
"Catch wha—Nevermind." James cut himself off. "She was here, but she left a couple days ago and I daren't say you won't be able to find her." He was feeling confident now, happy Sparrow would have to leave her alone.  
"Actually," Jack held up a hand. "I have this." He pulled out his compass and flicked it open with a broad smile. "So I'll have no trouble as it were…" he trailed off, noticing the dial spinning around in circles.  
The anxious expression James had acquired when Jack presented the item vanished into a smirk. "Good luck, Sparrow." He turned on heel and prepared to leave. The captain ran after him.  
"Wait, I can tell you've got something troubling you. What say we have a drink and you tell me what happened between you and…her. Savvy?"  
James wondered what on earth possessed him to even consider the idea. One, drinking made him very ill. Two, this was the person he probably hated most in the world next to his father. Three….three Jack might be able to actually help him.


	13. Chapter 13

While the language was different, most of the mannerisms mirrored that of the taverns in Tortuga. And James was struggling to remind himself why he was here again. In a Spanish pub. Sitting across from Jack Sparrow. With a drink that made him want to throw up his insides. "I think I'm going mad." He muttered under his breath, to himself.  
Jack heard of course. He was very good at hearing things he wasn't supposed to. "Join the crew, mate!" he smiled broadly and took a long gulp from his rum. "Now, where do we begin?"  
James was wondering if he should tell Jack he'd changed his mind and leave. He didn't want to pour out some sob story to this pirate. Or to anyone actually. It certainly wasn't going to make him feel any better about something he most likely shouldn't care about.  
"I can see you are conflicted." Jack gave him what James supposed was a sympathetic look—Sparrow style. "This happens when there is a woman involved."  
"I'm not 'involved' with any woman." James snapped irritably. "Unlike some."  
Jack just smiled and held up his hands "Guilty as charged." He ignored the eye roll the Admiral gave him and went on. "Look, mate. I know Angelica better than anybody. Just ask her—she blames me for everything she does! Do I take credit for it?...Sometimes. Depends on the situation. The point is," he paused to guzzle off the rest of his drink. "The point is….last time I checked, she wasn't really your…type."  
James bristled. "Meaning what—she'd be better off with you?" he didn't bother to deny that she didn't intrigue him. "You were the first person she actually cared about and you left her. You broke her heart. And besides," he added smugly, "You don't know where she went."  
"That…is true." Jack admitted reluctantly. "But you're not exactly a winner with the ladies either."  
James' green eyes burned into Jack, not appreciating the reminder. "You had better remind me why I came, Sparrow." He stated quietly. The Admiral wasn't sure if he could legally arrest a pirate in Spain, but that wasn't going to stop him if Jack kept this going.  
"Touché." Jack smirked, holding out his cup for the wench to refill his mug. "I am not exactly…good…with these things." He admitted in a way that seemed like bragging. "But I can see that you obviously have some sort of…stirrings for my dear Angelica."  
"Stirrings?" James asked dryly, unsure if he wanted to know what that meant.  
"Aye! Stirrings." Jack replied enthusiastically. "So, I will make you a deal. You, will meet me at the first pub in Tortuga—straight off the docks. You will also *not* arrest me. And I…will meet you there in exactly a month's time. Savvy?"  
"What benefits do I get exactly?" James was suspicious. "Why do I want to meet you and can I trust you to keep your word—I think not."  
"You will meet me there in a month!" Jack repeated, getting up and placing his hat on his head. "Don't forget, Norrie."  
And he disappeared into the crowd before James could object.  
The Admiral realised later that the captain had left him to pay the bill for all his drinks.

As the weeks ticked by James realised he had a problem. He was obsessed…with someone he didn't really know.  
Angelica took up his thoughts, so much so that even his men noticed he wasn't as focused as Lawrence had trained him to be. It wasn't just during the day either. She was in his dreams at night. One time he dreamed so vividly that she was on deck he went out—only to find out of course there was no one there.  
'She's not coming back!' he had gritted his teeth and slammed his cabin door, taking a long gulp of the brandy that seemed to cling to his shelf.  
Why and how could he be so infatuated and fixated with someone he didn't love? Someone he barely knew?  
He tried to drink it away…knowing he wasn't helping himself or being a good example to his men. However sneaking on deck to throw up over the railing was far from practical and he was sure they knew about it. Everything was just getting worse, and all because of some pirate woman stuck in his mind.  
He knew what his father would say—and it worried him. He didn't want Lawrence to find out, yet he knew he was due to return home. Perhaps Angelica's memory would stay behind in Spain….

"You're distracted."  
James snapped from his thoughts, glancing up to find his father watching him. "Pardon?"  
"Don't think I haven't noticed." Lawrence narrowed his grey eyes to steely slits. "Or did you really think everyone was blind to the obvious problem?"  
"There's no problem." James got up from his chair and reached for his coat. "I'm simply tired and wish to rest."  
"Liar!" Lawrence spat in return, blocking his son's escape. "Don't think you can hide from me." He suddenly calmed and exhaled deeply, reaching into his vest and pulling out a small, bound book.  
James flinched and watched as his father opened it. "Your Lieutenant kindly showed me this."  
James couldn't believe it. That David would hand over one of his Admiral's private possessions. His journal. It was filled with things he didn't want his father to see—letters to Angelica he could never send. And the drawing his father was tapping at. He stared longingly at the figure in ink and swallowed hard. "And?" he demanded through gritted teeth.  
"And you know exactly what I'm going to say." Lawrence threw the book to the floor with such force and trod on it, smearing the ink and crumpling the pages.  
James quivered, resisting the urge to bend down and snatch it back. There was no use. "I thought you wanted me to marry?" he snapped, sick of his father controlling his life….sick of his father painting everything with a broad brush. "You don't even know her how can you judge?"  
"She is Spanish." Lawrence insisted quietly. "Need I say more?"  
James didn't add that she was more than that. He had promised never to tell anyone. "She's gone anyway. I don't know where she went." Regret swelled inside him threatening to burst but he held it back, matching his father's stone faced expression.  
"Then I expect your attitude to disappear as well." Was all Lawrence would say before leaving the room.  
James watched him leave before his green eyes turned to the beaten book. He carefully reached down it picked it up, dusting off the grim and tucking it tendering away in his coat.  
With a determined look on his face he left his father's house and went to his own home.  
He tossed his luggage on the floor in his room and without bothering to check anything, quickly changed into more practical clothes. He paused briefly to look at himself in the mirror, catching the unwavering expression pooling in his eyes before he snatched his sword and left the house while buckling it around his waist.  
He didn't care what Lawrence said. Or if he was really just being desperate for any woman to care for him.  
The month was up.  
He was going to meet Jack.


	14. Chapter 14

Sitting in the back of a dark, musty old tavern, sat Angelica. She hadn't forgotten the British admiral who had captured her attention so easily, winning the heart of a stubborn, feisty pirate simply because he was so different. She had kept herself busy, not staying in one spot for more than a couple days. She would meet other men—and indeed she had—but no one, pirate or not pirate, would be able to match James. And so even after many days at sea and few on land, Angelica found herself thinking about him often, missing him…wondering if she'd made the right choice in leaving Spain. She remembered how he'd asked her to stay in that deep, warm voice. His breath had trembled some when he'd asked, his nose pressed deep into her hair. She hadn't wanted to leave him….she had wanted to stay with him. But that was why she had to leave. Because…they were too different. She was a pirate, an associate with Jack himself. And James…was a naval officer. He knew the ins and outs of society and was respected. So even if he chose to put that aside for her, Angelica couldn't let him.

But she was getting ahead of herself. She did not love this naval officer. She did not love any man and never would again.

Angelica took a mouthful of her rum and then pushed the cup aside. Speaking of the devil, where was Jack? He had requested that she meet him here and then he had the audacity to not even show up. But of course she should have expected it from him after everything he'd done. Although, after him somehow managing to pin point her location in the middle of the sea she would have thought he'd had bothered to show up this time.

She cast a glance at the clock hanging above her. The hands were bent and the glass was smashed but it was still readable. He was half an hour late. Well, she was tired of waiting. Angelica got to her feet and tugged on her coat. Whatever it was he wanted obviously wasn't that important or he'd have—her thoughts came to an abrupt halt as her hazel eyes fixed on a figure sitting in the far corner opposite her, his bright green eyes uneasily scanning the room.

A couple pirates moved and blocked her view and Angelica quickly shifted to try and spot him again. It couldn't be.

But she had to be sure.

Yes!

Sitting at the table, looking like a fish out of water was James. She knew it was him.

Angelica took a step forward to go to him, then stopped. What would he think if she simply went up to him after such a goodbye near two months ago?

But what was he doing here? Was he looking for her?! Her heart nearly soared at the thought.

'Don't be stupid, Angelica.'

She turned away, wrapping her arms around herself. No. It was best that she left. Best she forgot him…

"Angelica!"

She halted, her heart going into her mouth at the familiar, warming voice. She couldn't ignore it.

Spinning around she came face to face with the admiral, his bright green eyes fixed on her. They were filled with emotion—running like a river that she couldn't read because they flowed so swiftly. It almost put her in agony to think about it, to wonder what he really felt. She wanted to know—but at the same time she did not.

'You have no feelings for him.' She reminded herself. But knew she was lying. She felt everything for him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked finally, getting over the shock and gesturing for them to move out of the middle of the room.

Angelica led him back to the table she'd been sitting at. "I was supposed to meet Jack—" she went to continue but noticed he flashed her a look of surprise.

"So was I."

They both went quiet for a moment, then tried to speak at once which made Angelica get flustered and then frustrated with herself.

James rubbed a hand over his face, seemingly expressionless but Angelica knew he was feeling something. She just couldn't read it. "He came to me in Spain…shortly after you left. Said he was looking for you."

"Well, he found me." Angelica grimaced at the thought. "He told me to meet him here because there was something important he had to talk to me about."

"And I was told to meet him because…" James trailed off a moment. "Of an issue of my own."

Angelica cast him a curious glance. "Something's troubling you?"

James hesitated, then returned his gaze to her with a look so meaningful it made Angelica ache. "Someone." He murmured, so quietly she almost didn't hear it above the noise everyone was making. Dare she ask who?


	15. Chapter 15

Angelica watched as James searched her eyes for a reaction, surprising her that he didn't seem ashamed or embarrassed. She certainly wasn't as bold. In fact, she had to turn away for a moment, swallowing and searching for a reply. But before she could speak, a bar tender came by and slapped a large bottle of rum in the middle of the table. "With compliments from Mr. Sparrow."

Angelica glanced up with surprise and shock, watching the slumped man move away and scratch his scraggly beard. She returned her hazel gaze to the bottle. "So Jack didn't show up on purpose." She murmured, almost to herself.

"The bastard." James muttered, though Angelica detected a slight smirk to his tone. "He set us up."

Angelica tensed some, snapping her gaze back to the green-eyed Admiral, knowing this was her chance. It may be her only chance. "Why…would he do that?" She wasn't sure why she felt so nervous; why she kept thinking of the worst outcome for this situation. What if she never saw him again? What if…if the answer wasn't the one she expected? What if this whole thing was just a big mistake….What if it wasn't?

"You haven't guessed?" James sounded quietly surprised, gazing at her unblinking, seemingly very calm. Angelica wondered how he really felt, if he was just covering up his feelings like he'd been taught for so many years. She wanted to know. She wanted to * **know** *.

"No." she whispered quietly, her heart in her mouth once more. She wanted to tremble, and she clenched her fingers to her sword hilt to steady herself. And then the worst thing happened—he laughed. James Norrington laughed, his green eyes sparkling for a brief, but wonderful moment. "Angelica…I don't ask ladies to come to a dance with me. I don't go to a tavern with Jack Sparrow because he asked me to. I don't accept an extension of work in Spain because I like being away from home." He hesitated a moment, then reached into his coat pocket and drew out something. A book, it was trampled and looked like it had been trodden on. He opened it to a certain page and placed it on the table in front of her.

Angelica glanced down, feeling her heart stop as she gazed down at the ink sketch. She hurriedly glanced up, finding James regarding her with the same, calm expression.

"I have thought about you more than anyone else since you left-since before you left. Everything inside me is drawn to you, and come what may, I don't want you to disappear out at sea again. Not without me."

Angelica couldn't breathe. She knew it wasn't right….but she also knew, however hard she had pretended to be happy since leaving, she wasn't. Everything had been calling her back to Port Royal, to * **him** *. And she was sick of asking herself what was wrong. Because she * **knew** *. She had felt this strongly about something many years ago…when Jack had told her of the sea. She had wanted so badly to feel the salty breeze in her face, the sails slapping in the wind, the light dancing on the water….

But no longer could she enjoy the ocean. Her heart longed for something else more. Something….she couldn't have. It was tearing her in two. She couldn't be two people. She couldn't be a pirate and be with a naval officer. And she couldn't choose.

She tightly closed her eyes, but not before a small, choked sob escaped from her lips.

"Angelica?" James sounded anxious.

How could she explain to him? That she wanted to be with him so badly, she could feel her heart bursting, falling and rising like the tide. "I want to be with you." She opened her teary eyes to look at him. "But you know I can't. I can't ask you to do this."

James was staring at her with almost shock, the mask slipping rapidly. "Do what?"

"Ask yourself! What would happen if you chose to be with a Spanish pirate? What people would say….what would happen to your job." Angelica dried her eyes with her sleeve, shaking her eyes.

"You're just saying that because you can't choose." James insisted quietly, folding his arms on the table. "I can see it in your face." He sighed and got up, shaking his head.

"James!" Angelica bolted up, grabbing his sleeve before he could leave—not like holding onto him would do much of anything. "Please don't be upset with me. You don't understand. I can't enjoy being at sea anymore, not with you on my mind. And no matter what I do I can't get you out of my head. But I also can't…live like you. You know that."

"I know." James answered in a soft murmur, gently prying her fingers from his sleeve. He hesitated for a long moment, staring at her with such a powerful expression. Then he leaned forward and Angelica felt his warm breath as he kissed her cheek. It was such a small gesture, meaningless to some. But Angelica knew it meant so much coming from him. "I'll be in Port Royal if you ever change your mind." His fingers lightly sifted through the ends of her hair before he turned away.


End file.
